i am
alive
as
I will let
myself
feel.

i will not
let you
breathe your
way
into my lungs,

nor sweet nothing
your way
through my ears.

these hands
have held
more than
your fingers.

they’ve held together friendships
and families
and pieces of
ikea furniture
i was forced to
build
myself.

i will remember
these days
that blurred
into
dark.

won’t let myself
forget
that being alone
is not
the same
as feeling
alone.

will remember
that having life
is not the same
as living.

i hope that
you will
remember this
too.